i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize