HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize