2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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