a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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