I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
