I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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