I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
