Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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