May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
