Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
