Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
