I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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