Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
