I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize