If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize