We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
