You're so nebulous sometimes
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
