Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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