I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
