I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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