I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
