I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were destined to go to rehab together
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
