Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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