Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize