If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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