3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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