WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Holy shit dude........stairs
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
