So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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