my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
