Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
