I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
