Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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