Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I intend to get homeless drunk
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
