Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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