Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
