Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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