when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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