having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
