problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
