I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
