Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
