96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
