Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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