guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Jerry, you need to find god
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
