Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
