why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
