The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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