that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
