You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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