FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
