Jerry, you need to find god
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
