i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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