Porn is love you can see.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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