C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
