I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
