I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize