And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
