Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
