hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
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