Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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