You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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