For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
