I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
