she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
