I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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