forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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