i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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