if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
