theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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