alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
