i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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