I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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