Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
