if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
