she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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