Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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